Life happens. It's not always sunshine and lollipops

Written By Guest User

BECCA’S STORY

I'm Becca, Bex or Rebecca when I'm in trouble, 34. Founder and co-director of HEAL Mental Health Support. And those that know me will say I have gone through more sh*t in my life than most do in a lifetime!

I guess I had been suffering from anxiety since childhood. I was always worrying or fretting about something. Even if that something was so small as a school spelling test. I would bite my nails, shake, sweat, lose sleep and not a clue that it was anxiety. Growing up was difficult, finding out that my own biological father wanted nothing to do with me. Even to this day I've never even seen or met him or my other half sister. Living with an abusive "step dad". Having very little sleep, and then waking up to things being thrown out in the front garden, doors being punched off its hinges, and seeing my mum being abused even when she was going through chemotherapy was so frustrating and stressful. Pains in my hips, and the usual pressures of teenage life.

A few years on I found myself in a physically, mentally, emotionally and also financially abusive relationship. The was my first love, he was the first guy I'd lived with, got engaged to and had a baby with. After 3 years when he then got nasty with our child. I finally plucked up to courage to leave. I moved back to mums for a short while and then got a 2 bed house for me and my daughter. To then suffer a lot of physical pain in my hips, be ignored by doctors for 10 months then at last, they sent me for an x-ray to discover I had been walking on a dislocated hip. After a very nasty periacetabular osteotomy and a super tough recovery. At 24 I was non weight bearing, using a Zimmer frame and had a commode in my front room all with a 2 year old to look after. A fall out in the family and my only living grandparent chooses to completely disown me... that broke my heart. And still does to this day.

I move on to find myself in yet another abusive relationship. Another operation on my hip too. During this time I also miscarried at 12 weeks. By far the worst pain I had experienced ever. I remember avoiding everyone for months and crying almost constantly. I sunk into depression. I was put on antidepressants and a course of counselling. Shortly after I fell pregnant with my son. And 2 months into the pregnancy, the abuse began again. I managed to get away. Returned home and he had left me. Both myself and my son haven't seen or heard from him since. More cortisone injections and a few more ops to remove screws from my hip.

As you know the reason I got into mental health was due to supporting my ex partner for 2 years with his mental illness. During this time my mental health suffered dramatically. I was put on strong medication for anxiety. And sent for a course of counselling. But unfortunately no matter what I did or how I supported him, it wasn't enough. He had to want to get better. But unfortunately... he didn't. So shortly after having another operation, a total hip replacement, a bone graft and a 2.5 inch leg realignment... he suddenly up and left me, my 2 beautiful children and our Husky. So I was left to try and manage on crutches with 2 children under 10 and a big dog to try and walk. And then after more hard work on me... built my confidence at another relationship, I moved on. I was so happy, got engaged. Had the wedding planned out to a point of dress, shopping, venue booked. Everything.

But soon found myself back on my ass again. As I found out my other half had been lying to me about everything.... I mean everything, none of it was real. He had been cheating on me, gambling our money and taking cocaine. I remember floating around for a couple of weeks shocked and numb. And had to take time from work. It was time to get me back, roll up those sleeves and work hard on me again. I have used so many methods of support, including exercise, journaling, counselling, medication, support groups, coaching, doctors, meditation etc just to become the person I am today, the person i have been fighting to be for a long time.

Now I run this amazing organisation and support people everyday in all aspects of their lives. I have also met a man that is my absolute everything. And also taken on his 2 amazing children too! He has shown me the kindness, respect and love that I deserve. He has shown me what a real relationship is. Everyday we laugh so hard, everyday is full of so much love and everyday we deal with whatever is thrown our way...together.

My children, I'm so proud of and continue to thrive and are happy My husky is the best dog ever! I honestly don't know how I got through this or any of my past experiences. Life has knocked me down. And tried to keep me in that place. There have been times when, I'll be honest, I didn't want to get back up. But I did get up, I did reach out, I worked hard to look after me. For myself and for my children. I practice mindfulness every single day. I write things down, I meditate, enjoy being at one with nature, I paint, I draw. I look after me.

I worked hard to get me to where I am today, and also to know what to do when life challenges me again. Life happens, it's not always sunshine and lollipops, but I know how to look after me. I am open about my story, not for sympathy. But to hopefully give others the courage to open up, and speak out. And those that may want to use my past against me, go ahead. I have worked hard on myself, and I am a good person. With what life has thrown at me I could of turned out to be a completely different person.

But I will not be punished for my past.

Remember...

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE,

MANAGEMENT IS POSSIBLE

YOU CAN TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND!!!

I am me, all of my imperfections, all of my flaws, my scars...physical and mental ones. I am far from perfect but....

I love me xxxxxxxx

Becca - HEAL

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